Finding Truth in Fiction

Vivid memories of childhood summertime vacations in Saugatuck, Michigan are inspiration for my current work in progress. I was only five or six years old when I began traveling there with my grandmother. My grandmother’s friend, Shirley Lockhart, a single working woman, would pick me up after work on Friday night and we’d take the trip together in her gigantic ’55 Oldsmobile. It took more than three hours to go from Dearborn to the west lakeshore town back in those days. It was during a trip I took with Shirley that I had my first cheeseburger. She pulled into the Redwood Drive-in in Douglas and asked me if I liked them. I said I didn’t know. “We’ll share it, then,” she said. I’ll never forget how delicious it was. (There’s food again, making its appearance in the second paragraph of a blog post.) We’d pull up to my great-grandfather’s bungalow on Hoffman Street. The house was torn down in the 1990’s and is now a concrete block building next door to Uncommon Grounds, a wonderful, non-Starbucks kind of coffee shop.

During the 1950’s, the town was a seasonal resort where people came to play. At night, my grandmother would tuck me in on the screened sleeping porch. Can you imagine your child sleeping outside in this day and age, with lurkers and kidnappers? But in that era, it was an experience that would leave me with memories so rich that I can still feel the way the summer night air felt on my skin, the sheet she’d ironed under my body. The couples leaving the bars and restaurants after dark, walking down to the river to go dancing at the Pavilion, were dressed for an evening out on the town. All the women wore full skirts and the men, short sleeve sport shirts with ties. I can remember lovers hiding in the shadows cast by the streetlights, and their laughter ringing out. I was the observer of a summertime-long party.

There were also confusing memories, which resolved as I got older and understood the dynamics of relationships. Young people will twist the most innocent words into intrigue.  As my character, Brent says in Pam of Babylon, “Be careful what you say around small children; the boogeyman might be lurking there, whispering lies.” Family gossip reaching my ears became the basis for a book I started writing last August.  I won’t give too many details. Trust me when I tell you that the book is completely fiction; it was only the suggestion of something which lead to my fantasy.  A woman my age is dying of cancer, and she discovers while on her deathbed that she was adopted. The book is about her daughter, who goes in search of the dead woman’s birth parents and what circumstances surrounded it.

Of course, the woman and her family are Greeks. But the birth mother is a Native American who lives on the banks of the Kalamazoo River. This idea came from a poem I found that was written by my great grandfather, the same one whose house I used to visit. He was a poet of some renowned in the area.

Autumn Pictures of Saugatuck

Spirits of Indians, idols and gods

Silently hover over the beautiful Michigan dunes

While muses begin their autumn dance with music and song

And with gaiety

Greet the charming village of Saugatuck.

Pine trees waft their delicate perfume

Over the historic harbor,

Where shy nymphs bathe in summer

And nature lovers bow in prayer.

White-capped waves kiss the coast

Of great Lake Michigan.

Winds blow the shifting sands,

Changing old wonders into new beauties.

Falling leaves decorate the earth

With autumn colors

To welcome the White King—

Beloved son of Nature.

The father of dunes,

Old Baldhead,

Moves slowly.

He sees the last of Indian youths

And of white pioneers that yet remain.

The calmly flowing Kalamazoo

Still keeps the mystery of magic nights

While moon and stars join

To yield true love that never dies.

Saugatuck, dear Saugatuck,

Charming dreamland of artists and lovers.

by George Coutoumanos

“Where shy nymphs bathe in summer, and nature lovers bow in prayer.” Those few words started me on a journey that is becoming all-consuming. So much beauty in his words. But they don’t reveal the whole picture.

As I wrote, the story grew more than interesting to me. I felt I was meeting new people who already walked the earth. Their stories moved me as I began to understand the complexities of their history. I took a chance at developing some unorthodox relationships that I’m sure will be criticized, but they are staying.

But I got to a place where I wanted it to have more relevance, and not be just another chicklit novel. I Googled Indian Adoption and the discoveries I made as I researched made me sick. Now I am compelled to tell a story that will have some validity, I hope. It will be a fiction work loaded with annotation because I cannot write without backing my words up with truth. I found out things that are so shocking that when I tried to talk to my husband about it, I began to cry.

For instance, did you know that until 1934, hundreds of thousands of native children were removed from their homes and families, placed in boarding schools, for no reason except that our government wanted them to learn our ways? http://www.nativenewsnetwork.com/healing-the-scars-of-the-mt-pleasant-boarding-school-we-knew-bad-things-happened-here.html Evidently, I am among the last to learn this. A phrase I keep coming across in reading is historical trauma. One of the boarding schools is in my home state of Michigan. Groups of people who are the offspring of victims meet yearly to honor the dead and try to make sense of the post-trauma effects. They even have a Facebook page. https://www.facebook.com/pages/Native-American-Indian-Boarding-Schools/302085170203

 

Less known is the Indian Adoption Project, which lasted from 1958-1967.  Thousands of children were given up for adoption or taken from their families and placed with non-Indian families in what was called trans-racial adoptions. “In the Southwest, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints took thousands of Navajo children to live in Mormon homes and work on Mormon farms, and the Catholic Church and other Christian denominations swept many more Indian youngsters into residential institutions they ran nationwide, from which some children were then fostered or adopted out. As many as one-third of Indian children were separated from their families between 1941 and 1967, according to a 1976 report by the Association on American Indian Affairs.” Read more at http://indiancountrytodaymedianetwork.com/article/native-americans-expose-the-adoption-era-and-repair-its-devastation-65966

I came across this fabulous book if you are interested in learning more about the aftermath of the Indian Adoption Project. One Small Sacrifice: A Memoir (Lost Children of the Indian Adoption Projects) http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0041OSFXK/ref=oh_d__o02_details_o02__i00?ie=UTF8&psc=1 It’s a good read, well written by Award-winning Native American journalist Trace A. DeMeyer  who’s known for her exceptional print interviews. She details the long journey to find and meet her father and other relatives and offers a glimpse into the struggle adoptees are faced with.

Arf, Arf, Au Revoir

Reblogged from 2sheepinthecity's Blog:

We are having 70 degree weather in NJ today; a perfect opportunity to be outside and tackling some of the barn chores early.  I thought it would give us a head start on what is often an exhausting task.  I began by cleaning up after the sheep on a covered porch that leads into their stalls.  It was peaceful work, and I was joined by the two royal majesties themselves. 

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A friend asked me about Buddy today. He's been gone now for four years, but he made a big impression on friends. Arf Arf Au Revoir is also featured in A Prayer for My Mother, essays on aging, death and grief.

Writing from my Altar

The following is a repost of the guest post I wrote for the Bunny’s Review as part of my book tour with Orangeberry Book Tours for my latest book,The Greeks of Beaubien Street. Watch for the sequel, The Princess of Greektown, soon. You can read an excerpt here.

 

When I first began to write full-time, I did so at the dining table. My laptop was across from my husband, who also works from home. This setting worked fine for two years. We were both quiet, the only distraction coming from our dogs when they wanted a bone or from the wildlife outside our windows when it was time to refill the bird feeders or put more corn out for the deer in the wintertime. My ideas were flowing so quickly that it wasn’t an issue if he had a conference call or an unexpected visitor or the UPS man interrupted me.  Then reality hit.

I began to write a book that required research and concentration. If my husband was having a business discussion with his partner, I lost my train of thought. If the dogs wanted attention, I got frustrated. It seemed that the most minor of annoyances could throw me completely off track and I would forget what I was writing. It was time for a private office. Leaving my husband and the wildlife view was difficult. There was a small, empty room at the front of the house; if I got lonely, we could yell to each other. The dogs could come and go. I decided I had to position my mother’s large old farm table in front of the window facing my sheep pasture. I put two bird feeders close by so I could watch the birds. Occasionally in the spring, wild turkeys pass across the lawn with their babies. It’s very tranquil.

Items I love began to find their way to my tabletop. Ancient sepia photos of my grandparents and parents grace the background, along with those of beloved dogs now gone to the big kennel in the sky. A hand-thrown pottery cookie jar filled with dog bones sits in one corner next to a clear bowl of sea glass my Aunt Von collected out of the water off the village of Capitola in Santa Cruz County.  My owl collection includes pieces from my mother’s antique shop and gifts from my friend, Betty. I have a small bronze sculpture of a naked girl kneeling; I bought it for my dad and my mom gave it back to me when he died. From my daughter Jennifer, a pendant of Saint Anne, the patron saint of grandmothers and from my son Andy, a candle bought for Mother’s Day when he was fourteen.  A nest my friend Cate knit with five knitted Robin-egg blue eggs is treasured.

Things I love began to find their way to my desktop, which was reminding me more and more of an altar. The process of writing is almost worshipful, meditative. You must pull thought from the back of your mind and put it into words another human can make sense of. Doing so, and knowing that not everyone will find the same meaning in your collection of words is both intimidating and egocentric. I’m not sure if making an altar of my desk was intentional or accidental. I may have hoped it would help me be more successful at the task of writing. However, I think its real purpose is to comfort me. It’s a scary proposition to put it all out there. Writers know what they are inviting; criticism, ridicule, shame even. But it’s a compulsion. There is a story to tell and I must tell it. I’d asked myself at one time, “now Suzie, who is going to care about this?” It’s vanity, thinking a series of narratives compiled of some childhood boogeymen are worthwhile reading.

So the writing-table becomes a sort of combination spring-board/cocoon. I am alternately withholding/expounding, hiding/exposing.  Someday, I hope to make up my mind.  I keep waiting for someone to have me arrested for writing tales that should be kept under wraps. My office is a safe haven for a dangerous occupation.

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*Please let me know where your favorite place to read and write is. I would love to hear about it. I remember loaning a book out years ago, and my friend called me up, laughing. She wanting to know if I’d been eating pistachios while I was reading. Embarrassed, I had to say yes; the book was full of tell-tale pistachio detritus. In my youth, I used to plan a reading binge to coincide with a snack binge. Now, in my old age, I can’t afford the calories. As a writer, reading fiction is a luxury, but when I find a writer who’s captured my attention, I love it.

House at the Edge of a Wooded Path

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When I pass by wooded paths, Or see old farm equipment covered in kudzu and brambles, I think of my father. I remember him on tractors or in old cars, Lincolns mostly, classics he collected from the forties. Or Suburbans, … Continue reading

Skin Deep

I love the little girl Suzie.

I love the little girl Suzie.

Today began with the most pleasurable conversations; first with my sister Liz, and then with a childhood friend I’m blessed to have reconnected with through Facebook. We’ve been talking a lot about our grade school teachers, and I was mortified to learn that I could remember just two teachers, while my friend Marilynn had them listed in perfect order. A mutual friend, Cindy could also remember all of her grade school teachers. It’s both maddening and frightening that both my long-term and short-term memory are failing me. It’s the down side of aging, I guess.

Another friend Kathy, posted old class pictures on Facebook. This is a photo of me taken when we were about seven. Marilynn said it was second grade. That’s me, the Greek child, a head taller than the rest of the class. But when I saw it, I started to cry. It’s the second childhood picture of me posted on Facebook that had that effect. I grew up feeling fat and ugly. I remember distinctly waking up crying in the middle of the night when I was just seven and when my mother came to tend to me, me saying “I’m so ugly,” over and over again. Now I see from the pictures that I was such a cute little girl. What was wrong with me? Why am I so self-deprecating? Today, I admitted to myself that I have known the answer all along.

Beauty is not skin deep. Beauty is all the way to the soul. If you want to destroy a child’s concept of their value, sexually abuse them. About the same time this picture was taken, the same season of my midnight crying, I was being molested by my next door neighbor. I think I’ve done enough damage in both this blog and my books by talking about the painful things we are supposed to suppress, so I won’t go into the details, I won’t disgust you. I guess that’s the beauty of a blog. You write it to qualify your existence, or to enrich a life, or to educate.

Mr. Mills, my abuser, almost ruined my life. The abuse left me with a sense of shame that persists to this day; it’s renewed when I read a bad review for one of my books, or something goes wrong with a loved one, or any number of things may happen to which I can place blame on myself.

However! I came out a victor after the fact because of many qualities I possess that I feel are directly related to the abuse. I’m compassionate, almost to the point of ridiculousness. There’s so much about me that is good; my intellect, my sense of humor, my capacity for friendship. The negatives of the abuse could fill a page, but I want to ignore those things because I know the source. When I am plagued with something negative, I try to confront it and deal with it. One method that is working for me is to bare my soul. If I lay it all out for you to see, it is no longer a secret. It has no power over me.

The good part of aging, of turning sixty-two, has been my ability to stop making excuses for myself. I certainly don’t have all the answers. There are still things I am powerless over, things I am obsessive about, and the worst; things I want to just bury and forget. One thing I am eager to change is to stop obsessing over the reviews on Amazon and Goodreads. Okay, I know I can write. I have had that validation from people who are real critics; those people who buy my books and my friends, not the readers who don’t get it or who hate my style of writing or my bad editing. Why in the heck do I keep going back for more torture? I need to discipline myself to just stop reading reviews. Don’t go there. Unfortunately, reviews sell books so I need them, good or bad.

So beauty of the soul is definitely something I want to cultivate. It means staying away from things and people who are toxic, giving of time, and not being afraid to take chances. Also, I think removing the stress those things cause might help my memory, and make me stronger.

My beloved sheep Slick, died last month. A friend asked if we were going to change the name of the blog from 2sheepinthecity. I don’t think so. When we left New Jersey I didn’t change it even though we are miles from any city here in the woods. There are cosmic connections from these woods that transcend space and time, joining my heart to my dear friends and family across the country. I have to believe we are in contact with our loved ones who have died, including beloved pets. So it will remain 2sheepinthecity. I love you!

Ah, what do they want?

Ah, what do they want?

Book Trailer Reveal: The Greeks of Beaubien Street by Suzanne Jenkins

Reblogged from If Books Could Talk:

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The Greeks of Beaubien Street
Suzanne Jenkins
Contemporary Women's Fiction/Crime
CreateSpace
Produced by Pump Up Your Book

Nestled below the skyline of Detroit you’ll find Greektown, a few short blocks of colorful bliss, warm people and Greek food. In spite of growing up immersed in the safety of her family and their rich culture, Jill Zannos doesn’t fit in. A Detroit homicide detective, she manages to keep one foot planted firmly in the traditions started by her grandparents, while the other navigates the most devastated neighborhoods in the city she can’t help but love.

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